A Lieutenant's Work is Never Done
by odisies9000
Summary: The Head captain created a new division led by Rukia Kuchiki, Ichigo is her Lieutenant. While Rukia slacks off with Renji, Ichigo is getting more and more tense, trying to balance two internal souls, a relationship with big Nel, and a lazy captain. All that boils down into is fun and chaos for our favorite substitute...
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH, THIS IS JUST THE WORK OF MY OWN IMAGINATION**

* * *

"_**Hey king, better be careful, boss lady is near, and you don't want her to catch you daydreaming of queeny again..." **_Hichigo started before being cut off.

"_Let him daydream hollow, it would make for more fun when Rukia catches him in the middle of his paperwork, it will be fun watching Ichigo drag himself out of that hole..." _Zangetsu finishes self satisfactorily

"Shut up you guys, I should get to daydream, since Rukia runs off all the time with Renji..." Ichigo trails off as a door slams open and in storms a flustered Rukia.

"Can't I leave you with just a little bit of responsibility Ichigo, seriously, I step out for five minutes..." Rukia begins before being cut off by Ichigo

"You think you were gone five minutes, what a joke, more like five hours midget, so sorry if I started daydreaming while you were gone, but unlike you, the one who captured my heart isnt here, and she can't be here all the time, nor can I go there all the time, since I keep getting left with all this bloody paperwork.." Ichigo begins ranting as he gets cut off by Hichigo manifesting and scaring an "EEEKK!" out of Rukia...

"_**Oh yeah, king, I remembered something queeny said when I was visiting a few days ago, but you will find out in the next couple of days, I can't wait... " **__Hichigo_ trails off before disappearing.

* * *

The next day

* * *

"Ichigo, I'm heading out for lunch with Renji, be back in the next half hour or so, promise..." Rukia trails off as she packs her paperwork up. "You're not leaving, Renji is coming here, I told him that you had excess paperwork from slacking off with him, so he said he would come help you catch up, just so that you can slack off some more with him," Ichigo interrupted shutting the door before Rukia finished packing her stuff, "Get your stuff back out, Renji will be here any minute and I already explained the situation to Head Captain, he has given me permission to do whatever I need to do to make sure you get your paperwork done, and he has also allowed Renji to look at our personnel files, for the sake of getting you up to date, I also warned him about Nel coming in the next few days, so that nobody goes crazy."

Rukia sat there, slack jawed, listening the whole time while Ichigo took charge of the whole situation. "Ichigo, since when have you been so in command of your own thoughts for more than a few moments?" Rukia questions when she finally recovers from the shock Ichigo gave her.

"As of your slacking off, you pushed it, but it didn't bother me at first, but then your pile started getting bigger and bigger, and I started getting hell butterflies from the Head Captain asking what was happening with our paperwork to push me beyond the point, I've had enough Rukia, you are not leaving till you get this paperwork finished, or do I have to go get Byakuya to give you a lecture about it?" Ichigo responded in a rather annoyed voice, which caused a shiver to run down Rukia's spine.

"Now I see why Nel loves you..." Rukia trailed off when she regained her thoughts, "When you want to, you take charge so well, but most of the time you are still a massive idiot, I don't need a lecture from you, or onii-sama to get me back on track, I just needed you to let me know that it was getting ridiculous, but you didn't warn me, not at all, you just expected me to know…" Rukia trailed off as she got madder and madder with him.

"Even if I wanted to let you know, you are never here long enough for me to tell you anything, or if I have the chance to tell you something, you are too busy day dreaming about him to pay attention to anything anyone else said, not even Head Captain." Ichigo states angrily as he hears a knock at the door followed by the shouting of a certain red-haired lieutenant.

"ICHIGO, YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE YELLING AT RUKIA, CAUSE IF YOU ARE, SO HELP ME I WILL KILL YOU" Renji yells before he screams as Hichigo manifests next to him.

"You better not kill him Renji, Queeny will be here in a few days, if you kill him before then, you will be killed by her for it, and that would start a whole bunch of unnecessary violence, possibly even a war, wouldn't want that resting on your head now would you?" Hichigo says with a chuckle, just before a garganta opens behind Renji, Hichigo disappears and out steps Nel scaring the living daylights out of Renji, for a second time that day.

"Did you say something about killing MY King just then Renji?" Nel states with a rather nasty frown upon her face, scaring Renji even more than anything.

"N-N-N-Never, I wouldn't dream of it Nelliel, I wouldn't want to incur your wrath…" Renji trails off as he steps inside the office, quickly shutting the door behind himself.

"Ichigo," Renji whispers under his breath, "Take your girlfriend somewhere else, she scares me when she does things like that, especially in that voice…"

"I cannot leave this office until the paperwork is caught up, because I can't trust you, or her to continue working without me or someone else here to watch over you," Ichigo states blankly to Renji before pushing him towards Rukia, "Now get to work, I have to go greet someone, properly, if I come back and you two aren't working, I will have to teach you two a lesson, and then get a certain someone to come give you both a lecture, I doubt you want that now, do you?"

"No Sir!" Was the response he got simultaneously from the two lovers as he exited the room, leaving the lovers unsupervised as he went to go greet his girlfriend, whom he hadn't had any major time to spend with her since a short while after the war with Aizen ended.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own bleach, all credits for characters goes to Tite Kubo.**

* * *

"Ichy!" Was all Ichigo heard as he shut the door before he got leapt on by his voluptuous, teal haired partner. "Well hello to you too Nell!" Ichigo grunted as he quickly shifted to stabilise himself, else he would fall over with Nell clinging to him in her usual childish fashion, "I wasn't expecting you for a couple of days, the way Hichigo said it made it sound like you were still gonna be in Hueco Mundo for at least today, if not for another couple of days…" Ichigo said once he stabilised himself

"Is that what that foolish thing said now? Maybe the next time I see him I will teach him not to lie to you about when I am coming for my visits…" Nell trailed off ominously, scaring Ichigo enough that he shivered and nuzzled into Nell's neck. "Ichy, aren't you meant to be watching over Rukia and Renji, you can't stay nuzzled into my neck forever you know…" Nell trailed off which received a groan from the stressed lieutenant who didn't want to be reminded of his duties. "You did say five minutes Ichy, we better go check on the two lazy people, don't want you breaking your word on account of lil ol' me now." Nell finished in a whisper in the ear of the man nuzzled into her neck.

"Five more minutes..." was all Nell heard as Ichigo nuzzled deeper into her neck, not wanting to go back into the office and deal with his captain, but unfortunately for him, his girlfriend had other plans, which were shown when he was picked up effortlessly and carried into the office, before being set down and pried from her and he was turned to face the two love birds and forced to keep an eye on them, even though he just wanted to spend time with his girlfriend.

Ichigo realised what had happened and looked at the pile and realised that it was almost gone, which was shocking considering how much had piled up, but then Ichigo noticed that Rukia and Renji when fidgeting and shuffling around a lot. "Get up you two!" Ichigo demanded as he crossed his arms and started tapping his foot. "Why Ichigo? we are just getting comfortable again, we did almost all the paperwork while you were busy snuggled into Nell's neck..." Rukia trailed off causing Ichigo to stop tapping and go beetroot red.

"So what if I was snuggled up to her, I was getting stressed out by you and your laziness that I just needed to cuddle up to her for a few moments to relax before coming back in to deal with you two, now get up!" Ichigo finished before having the captain and lieutenant jump up and reveal that they were sitting on almost all the paperwork that Ichigo and the head captain was expecting them to do.

"Why did you lie to me about doing all the paperwork?" Ichigo asked, annoyed with his captain and her lover. "Did you really expect me to believe that you would be able to do that much paperwork within 5 minutes?"

"Ichigo, what did you expect me to do, there was so much paperwork..." Rukia began before getting cut off by the appearance messenger. "Captain Kuchiki, Lieutenant Kurosaki, Head Captain Yamamoto requests your immediate presence at the squad one barracks."

"This is your fault, _Captain_" Ichigo spat out rhetorically as he turned to Nell and gave her a quick kiss before whispering something no one but them heard in her ear to which she nodded and returned his kiss before heading back to his place in a buzz of sonido. "Lets go see what the old man wants Rukia." Ichigo said almost seeming bored as he flash stepped to the squad one barracks leaving a shocked Rukia behind in the office.

"Honey, you were summoned by the head captain, its best not to keep him waiting..." Renji started as he started to shake Rukia who was just staring at the spot where Ichigo was standing.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the squad one barracks

* * *

Ichigo reappeared before the doors to the squad one barracks and was waiting as he was announced to the head captain. Ichigo had been there for a couple of minutes and it was starting to get annoying and just as he started tapping his foot Chojiro Sasakibe, Head Captain Yamamoto's lieutenant, and head of squad one, stepped out into the hall. "You may enter, Head Captain Yamamoto wishes you had waited for your captain, but he said can understand your impatience, and that what he says in here is not your fault, but you must still be here to bear witness to this." Chojiro finished, stepping aside to allow Ichigo entry to the room. "What do you mean Chojiro?" Ichigo questioned.

"You will see Lieutenant Kurosaki, now please enter." Chojiro states with an emotionless voice causing Ichigo to shiver and walk into the room to get away from the seemingly emotionless lieutenant, who laughed quietly to himself when the lieutenant finally walked into the room.

* * *

**I'm sorry for it taking so long and being shorter than the last chapter, but I just have problems at times with my story writing, I lack inspiration from time to time and it makes it hard to write my own stories**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Firstly, I would like to thank everyone who has favourite my story, I am sorry that i havent posted a new chapter till now, school got incredibly busy, so i had to put writing on hold for a while, Secondly, I would like to ask that the person who reviewed my story and called me, and many other people retards, one question, if you dont like the pairing so much, why read the story, you havent got a contract stating that you have to read fan fics with Ichigo and Nell paired, so why read it then give hateful reviews, Finally, I own nothing, all credits go to the true owners of bleach.**

"Lieutenant Kurosaki, is it safe to assume that Lady Nelliel has arrived?" Genryusai Yamamoto, Head Captain of the thirteen court guard squads, questioned as Ichigo entered the room.

"Yes, she has arrived, and is resting in my room for now gramps." Ichigo responded when he finally stopped.

"Am I also correct in assuming that there was an argument between you and Captain Abari, Kurosaki? I felt his spiritual rise a little before jumping ridiculously high for a split second." Yamamoto continued to question.

"I was lecturing Rukia about her laziness, and he got mad, before Nell scared him." Ichigo stated with a smile. This received a chuckle from the head captain, just as Rukia walked into the office. "Speak of the Devil, and thou shalt appear..." Yamamoto trailed off, "You of all people, Lieutenant Kurosaki, should know that, Now to business, Captain Kuchiki, your Lieutenant it telling us that you have been neglecting your captaincy duties, I know you are excited about your wedding, but that does not mean you are allowed to neglect your division..." Ichigo suddenly interrupted the head captain.

"Wedding? What wedding? Since when would anyone wanna marry an annoying midget like you?" This caused Rukia to start fuming as she pulls out her zapaktou and swing at Ichigo. "Renji would you idiot, you really have no idea about girls, do you? I wonder why Nell even loves you some time..." Rukia trailed as she tried forcing Ichigo back as he held onto her zanpaktou.

"Its because of how caring I am." Ichigo said tauntingly before both him and Rukia stumbled, feeling the room shake. "ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE! WE ARE NOT HERE TO FIGHT, WE ARE HERE TO DISCUSS CAPTAIN KUCHIKIS LAPSE IN WORK!" The two stopped fighting and bowed to the head captain, "We are sorry head captain!" They both exclaimed in unison.

"I'm not surprised about Kurosaki, but I expected better from you Kuchiki-san, I thought your brother raised you better than that." Yamamoto said, opening his eyes slightly to glare at the pair. "Now Rukia, if you don't get your work done within the next week, I will have to get your brother to call off the wedding, that's not what you want is it?" Yamamoto questioned. Rukia looked down and muttered, "No Sir, that I do not."

"What Was That Captain Kuchiki?" Yamamoto questioned, raising his voice slightly.

"NO SIR, I DO NOT WISH FOR THE WEDDING TO BE CALLED OFF." Rukia yelled, raising her head and staring the old head captain in the eyes.

"Good, I don't want to get your brother here to lecture you and call it off, I would rather avoid having 3 captains injured because you got carried away with Captain Abari..." Yamamoto trailed off, looking at Ichigo. "Do you find this acceptable, Lieutenant Kurosaki?" Yamamoto asked, turning to face Ichigo. "Yes Head Captain, I find this very acceptable." Ichigo said bowing to Yamamoto. "Are we finished here?" Ichigo asked, getting impatient, "I have a girlfriend resting at home who I wish to spend time with before she must leave to go home."

"Of course, we are finished here Kurosaki, you may return home to your partner, you have got permission to leave, Captain Kuchiki here though has work that must be done before she can go home for the day. I will alert your brother that you be home soon." Yamamoto states before bowing his head with closed eyes. Ichigo nodded and walked out the door, shunpoing home to spend time with Nell.

**Thank you again guys, sorry its short and full of little issues, please R&amp;R (constructively)**


	4. Quick AN

Hey guys, just letting you know, I have uploaded another fan fic, it isnt finished yet and will be multiple parts, though its a Kim Possible one, my siblings were watching it and the idea just wouldnt leave me alone, so I wrote it out and decided to post it, read it if you want, but please, no negative/hateful reviews.


	5. an Authors Note explaining the situation

**Sorry for the lack of updates everyone, I've had a severe case of writers block, coupled with a long distance move, Its really infuriating, again I'm sorry, I will try to get a new chapter written for you when I can.**


	6. Chapter 4

**I am so sorry for the delay, writers block is a pain, coupled with a massive move has really just knocked me off course, I will try to do better for all you guys, I am also working on a new story based on the inheritance book series, its been floating around my head for a while, thanks for your patience, enjoy**

Ichigo arrived home. "Honey, I'm home." Ichigo called out as he walked into his little house, chuckling at the joke he just made. "Come on Ichy, come find me." Was all Ichigo heard before the buzzing started. "So you wanna play that game huh? You know I am faster than you, so are we really gonna start this?" He called in challenge.

"Of course, I've gotten better since we last played tag Ichy, didn't Yoruichi teach you not to be mean to girls..." This caused Ichigo to stop and blush furiously

"Did you have to bring her u..." he started before falling over as Nell jumped on him from behind, clinging close to him. "Gah, NELLLLLL!" he yelled as he got up. "Loos... Loosen... Loosed up... Loosen up a bit Nell, I can feel things pressing into my back." Ichigo stuttered as soon as he realised what was going on.

"AWWWW, Your no fun Ichy, ICHY NO FUN!" Nell started as she let go of him and picked him up. "I'll just have to go get Ruki to play with me." she said as she put him down and left. "DON'T YOU DARE INTERUPT RUKIA!" Ichigo roared as he flew after Nell, not realising that he was being followed by a very annoyed Nanao Ise. "KUROSAKIIIII!" was all Ichigo heard as he felt riatsu flare from behind shocking him and making him miss his step. "What do you want Nanao? I'm in the middle of something. Cant it wait?" Ichigo called to Nanao as he stopped.

"No it cannot Ichigo, You need to realise that you aren't the only person in that building, you cant just flare and yell like that." Nanao stated in a way that had always pissed off Ichigo.

"Well I'm sorry ok, I'm busy so I am gonna take off..." Ichigo called back as he took off again, suddenly appearing outside his captains open office door.

Standing in the doorway was Nell, frozen in the spot, just looking into the room in shock. Ichigo peered over her shoulder seeing the office a mess with Rukia sleeping on the floor, her hair a mess, Renji with his hair down and his uniform really loose around his waist. Ichigo raised his riatsu to alert the two captains to his presence. He flared it before leaving to talk with the head of the Kuchiki family. "I've had enough of this, it's time to get Byakuya involved in this." Upon arriving at the gates of the Kuchiki Manor, Ichigo stopped and took a knee, stating to the guard. "I request an immediate meeting with Captain Kuchiki." The guard nodded and opened the gate, he straightened up and slowly walked in. "Welcome, I assume you are here for Captain Kuchiki, this way please, he has been expecting you." An elder said as he turned away and started walking.

"Of course he has, he is just going to yell at me about being a lax lieutenant." Ichigo mumbled following the elder who led him to Byakuya.

"Lieutenant Kurosaki, sit." Byakuya said, indicating to the open space across from him. "Sorry Byakuya, no time, need you to come with me right now, your gonna need to see this..." Ichigo said, shifting uncomfortably "You remember the head captains order about the work..."

Byakuya looked the uncomfortable lieutenant over before nodding and standing. "Of course, let me guess, she's asleep, and Renji too?" He asked.

"In a manner of speaking..." Ichigo trailed off as he turned and walked out. Byakuya followed slowly. Upon exiting the grounds of the kuchiki mansion both Ichigo and Byakuya shunpoed back to the squad barracks, where an unaware sleeping pair lay, unbeknownst to the fury that was rapidly approaching.

Rukia rolled over, noticing the rapidly approaching large sources of riatsu, and suddenly bolted upright. _Oh crap, we're screwed_... Rukia thought to herself as she rushed to try and straighten up and make herself presentable, kicking Renji in the process. "Wake up you massive idiot, Ichigo went and got someone." Rukia hissed.

Ichigo and Byakuya slowed as they neared the barracks, prefering to walk over the threshold than suddenly appear inside, inviting attack from the unsuspecting squad members. As Ichigo slowly walked alongside Byakuya to the office he spotted an unsteady Nell, she fell, but not before Ichigo could catch her.

Ichigo carried Nell as he continued to walk, a bit slower now, to the office. As they arrived, Byakuya opened the door and saw the mess, this boiled his blood, but he maintained his usual stoic expression until one very startled captain ran back into the room, unaware of guests at her door. "So you have finally awakened Rukia..." Byakuya trailed off coldly as he stepped into the office.

Rukia glared at her Lieutenant, who had still yet to enter and was still carrying Nell, and hissed "You had to go and get him, didn't you, you couldn't just yell at me like you usually do?"

"No, cause you don't listen to me, you do to Byakuya though, hence his presence." Ichigo stated, "I'll leave the rest to you, Byakuya, I've got to take this one home and get her to lie down for a bit."

"Of course lieutenant, oh, and if you see a certain red haired captain, can you please send him here, senbonzakura kageyoshi has a few words for him, thank you."


	7. Chapter 5

Hi guys, welcome to another chapter, sorry for taking so long, hopefully you guys enjoy this one and dont hate me for taking so long, recently i have had little to no motivation to write, i keep getting stuck reading other stories. Anyway, onto the chapter.

"I'll be right back," Ichigo says as he lays Nel on the futon in his quarters, "Just gotta find the pineapple and tease him a little before handing him over to Byakuya."

"Don't torment him too much, Byakuya is going to shred him up enough." Nel said.

"But that's no fun…" Ichigo groans. "I want to give him hell, after all, if he wasn't taking the captain all the time, our squads paperwork would be done on time."

"Fine, just go easy on him…" Nel says closing her eyes

"No promises." Ichigo states, grinning as he grabs his riatsu suppressing cloak.

"I was never here." Renji hissed as he hid in one of the inumerable closets in the Urahara Shoten.

"Why would someone be looking for you, Renji?" Tessai quickly asked, not facing the cupboard.

"I may have pissed off Byakuya, and caused Rukia a whole lot of trouble…" Renji said quietly, trying not to attract attention.

"Oh, is that why Ichigo is running around Karakura, asking for you." Urahara chuckles as he enters the room.

"Byakuya must have sent him for me." Renji hissed worriedly.

"I didn't tell him you were here. Shop keepers honour." Urahara said, holding three fingers in the air, mimicking the scouts honour gesture.

_I need to find that god damn pineapple, _Ichigo thought to himself_ god I hate trying to sense riatsu, never was very good at it. Wait, red ribbons, now focus_. Ichigo started to focus, drawing out the spiritual ribbons before finding a particularly bright red one, _Gotcha_. Ichigo grinned as he flew off in the direction the ribbon was flowing.

"He's coming." Urahara grinned, sitting in the entrance of his little shop.

"HAT AND CLOGS, GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!" Ichigo yelled, opening the door to the shop.

"Why Ichigo, what a pleasent suprise, what might I be able to interest you in?" Urahara said waving his fan in front of his face.

"I want your help with a little prank," Ichigo said quietly, before stepping closer and whispering in his ear, "I know the pineapple is here, he was very naughty and i wanted to poke at him before Byakuya shreds him a new one." Stepping back, Ichigo watches Uraharas face, watching the cogs turn in the mans mind.

"Did you bring the cloak?" Urahara asked, nondescripedly.

"Of course." Ichigo said grinning. Urahara smiled and muttered a few words under his breath.

"Now we need not worry about cheeky ears trying to listen in, i have a plan, go downstairs and put the cloak on, make it seem as though you went back, I will bring him downstairs, and then you get to have your fun, mind you, he is currently hiding in a closet, so I will lock him up in that before bringing him down." Urahara planned aloud with Ichigo, grinning maniacly.

Renji heard some rattling outside his hidey hole. _Atleast Ichigo is no longer here, must have given up hunting me here in the human world. _All of a sudden his thoughts were thrown into disarray as his hiding place was suddenly picked up. He tried opening the door only to find that it wouldn't open. "Urahara," Renji yelled, bashing on the door, "Urahara, let me out of this damn thing." Renji continued bashing on the door for a while before he feel like he was falling.

As suddenly as he started falling, he was suddenly cast into a very bright light as his little closet shattered on the hard ground. "God I hate that man." Renji swore aloud as he stood up and stretched, looking around and recognising where he was. _Isn't this place in the seireitei?_ Renji thought, suddenly a little slice appeared in the arm of his uniform, not very big, but enough to notice. "What the." Renji said aloud as another slice appeared, followed by another and another. The slices slowly accumulated. "URAHARA! Show yourself, stop messing around." Renji yelled, believing it to be Urahara messing with him.

"I'm not Urahara." A dark voice whispers from behind before another nick appears on his uniform. "This is your retribution, you run from your doom, I come to bring you to your comeapence. But, I decided to play a little game first. Let's see if you can block just a single strike of mine. i will be generous and make a ingle strike at a time. You will have 10 strikes. Block one, you win. Miss them all and i win."

"What would I win, what would you give me if I were to win?" Renji called to the voice.

"I would let you keep your dignity when I take you in. If you lose however, your dignity might be compromised a little, I wouldnt be horrible, but, it would be a massive shame on you, and your future wife…" The voice called to him.

Big warning lights suddenly flashed in his mind, he was dealing with Ichigo, Urahara set him up. "URAHARA! You set me up, You Bastard!" Renji yelled into the air. Somewhere in the distance, Urahara chuckled.

"One!" Ichigo yelled to Renji, making a new cut in his uniform.

"Two!" A new slice, making another cut into the waist of his uniform.

"Five!" yet more slices have appeared, making it so that the waist of his uniform is slowly getting more and more cuts, yet each slice brought the uniform closer to falling apart.

"Seven!" Closer still his uniform came to falling apart. _I need to stop this, NOW._

"Eight!" The voice called, making another pass.

"Ni-" Ichigo started, only to feel his blade get redirected. "Good, you would have been a poor excuse of a captain if you hadn't been able to block even just one slice." He slowly faded into existence right in front of Renji, wearing the cloak that he grabbed before leaving. "URAHARA. You can bring that spare uniform now. He passed my little test, not that he will last long once Byakuya gets to him." he whispered the last part.

I will have the next chapter some point, it might take me some time, but I will get it out for you. If you have any questions, feel free to message me.


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